"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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