If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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