Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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