it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
