I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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