why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
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I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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