plz talk dirty to me
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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