I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
