it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
