u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
