I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
