Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Boobs are out for the taking
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
