I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
