I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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