At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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