You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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