So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
