When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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