I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize