Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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