OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
