so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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