i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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