He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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