I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
