I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
