Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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