My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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