i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
