he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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