I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
