He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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