I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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