They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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