Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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