She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i love accidental penises.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
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