Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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