I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
