The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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