Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
