I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
