I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
