Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
