a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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