she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
