dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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