Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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