He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
That was an excessively violent trivia night
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
