whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
