just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
