Yo dont text me then not text me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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