Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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