Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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