you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
