just come out here and I will go home with you...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
