It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
