At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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