Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
