He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
