Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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