Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
