Cold hands, warm shart.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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